The sad things, the celebrations and the laughter

The last part of our housesitting for Cookie and Cracker in Evesham. Settling down to watch a film together

We really did have a good time with Cookie and Cracker, they are very good therapy dogs, and it was just what we needed. It seems like a very long time ago now, but we walked and ate and relaxed.

We left on Tuesday, once we knew Donna and Keith had taken off, back for the last flurry of activity before the funeral on Thursday. It was important to me to try and get as much of Mum’s life into a very short speech as she had so many different stages in her life that virtually nobody knew all of them.

Outside the crematorium for Pauline's funeral dressed in anything purple, as was her wish. LtoR: Brian, Jackie, Caroline, Lucy, Jonathan and Charles

We were very lucky with the weather, blue sky and sunny, not that it mattered, but it does make everyone feel better, and made the drive for Jonathan and co, and Uncle Martyn and Annabel easier. Brian had worked very hard on the photos for the order of service (to see a scan of the order of service: click here), going through hundreds and visualising how they would look when cropped (if you'd like to look at them, all 346 of them, click here). Charles read Warning, a poem by Jenny Joseph, which pretty well summed mum up and added a perfect few words of his own. The music for reflection was Poor Wandering One from the Pirates of Penzance, recorded by Caroline on her flute, accompanied on the piano by her teacher (to listen to it click here). Gilbert and Sullivan had been such a huge part of life when I was growing up. In fact I was in my first production, the Gondoliers, when I was 5. A late breaking addition to the cast when the costumes arrived for the Duchess of Plaza Toro to find she was struggling with her train. I had the very important job of carrying her train from the back of the hall to the front, where it was removed and handed to me to take off the stage. I swapped it for a mint imperial from Jeff, the stage manager and went home to bed. Except for the last night when I was allowed to stay to take a bow, and even receive a flower posy that meant as much to me as the bouquets did to the principal ladies. I had written some words in the middle of one night, which had got it out of my system, but Jacqui, the celebrant read them out as part of her eulogy. The music we came in to was Daddy Longlegs, which I knew had been mums favourite song from the Captain Beaky album (to listen to it via Youtube: click here). What I hadn’t realised is that it had been recorded by Peter Skellern, one of mums absolute favourites, who we happened to bump into at the top of a cable car in New Zealand. She’d recognised him and seemed to make his day wanting to have a picture taken with him. We exited to Killer Queen, by Queen which had been selected by the family Kent as they’d driven home after coming up to look at the house and contents.

After the service we all went to the Red Lion who I have to say provided a very good service, nothing seemed to be too much trouble. It did us all a power of good to see so many people there, at one point Jonathan had envisaged a meal for 8, not the approaching 40 that there were. I’d taken the many items of beaded jewellery that she’d never sold, encouraging people to take a piece to remember her by and Brian had taken a laptop with as many photographs as we could find of her growing up, on trips and with as many people as possible. It did end up with the 8 of us, close family that Jonathan had expected, after everyone else had gone having given her a really good send off. We so appreciate everyone and everything that they have done and said.

Weekend in Bristol with Bev and Iain, starting with a drink before the Doreen Doreen concert. The girls are ready! Just as an aside, you can see most of the picture on the pub wall behind of Mona Lisa that's been doctored to show her holding a pint!

Was it all going to feel a bit flat after the funeral? No, we’ve barely had the chance to breathe. Friday we went down to Bristol to Bev and Iain, this had been planned since January, and they’d given us the option to cancel, but no chance, we were going! We arrived and went out to lunch, Caribbean at the local pub, which was a delight. A full meal then as we were going out later, to see a band, Doreen Doreen. They have a loyal following in the Bristol area, and Bev and Iain have seen them many times. Actually Iain saw them in January along with Helen, Ian, Phil and Sue, though sadly not Bev as she wasn’t well enough. We were delighted that she was well enough this time as we had a brilliant time. As a band they are almost indescribable. The lead singer is 70 and large, and if not singing, doing her knitting on the stage. The base player is also large, and black and wears little more than a pair of hot pants that leave nothing to the imagination. Of the other 4 lady singers three are probably my age with one being slightly younger. The songs and mash ups were brilliant, the atmosphere buzzing, and the attire of the audience wacky! Feeling it was too early to go home we then moved to the Irish bar, for drag night. Fortunately B&I are regulars as the very new, and slightly overzealous doorman wouldn’t let us in, as two middle aged married couples appeared to tick some box in his head as a stag or hen do. Admittedly we were wearing pink feather boas and ears but even so! We did eventually get in only for me to get videoed singing along at the bar, before being referred to by the drag queen as his nan! It was a good evening.

Doreen Doreen on stage. Zoom in on the bass player on the right (if you dare!), his shorts leave little to the imagination. The guitarists on the left are midway through an instrumental and the lead singer is taking a break, sitting down knitting. Fabulous music from the 1960's to modern

It shouldn’t have been that late an evening, Brian and Iain were meant to be spending Saturday on Steep Holm island in the Bristol Channel. Only open 12 times a year as high tide is necessary to access the island. This turned out to be the problem, it’s a very small island, interesting enough for a few hours, but for 12? With rain forecast? They had both separately decided that it might not be such a good idea and fortunately had actually opened their mouths and said something! Their decision not to go obviously impacted Bev and my chilling Saturday, but we let them off. Brian’s choice for the day was lunch and wine, so Seven Lucky Gods for delicious Japanese food, and a bottle of wine, before moving to the wine bar next door, for an impromptu tasting and another three bottles of wine. We just sat and talked and laughed, all the while sending pictures and messages to Ian and Helen eliciting sympathy from them about being stuck on a tiny island!

I had to get a photo of Bev on her mobility scooter. Here we are waiting for the bus into Bristol for our lazy day of eating, drinking (lots) and laughing

Sunday, the reason this weekend had been planned I was due at Biobanks study centre. Brian and I have been part of UK Biobank for about 15 years, providing data for studies into all sorts of things, we’ve had problem solving tests, activity monitors, eating studies sleep questionnaires and all sorts. This was to be 5 hours comprising 2 MRI scans, bone density scans and neck angiograms. Along with being weighed, measured, questioned and doing various computer tasks. Why only me? The plate in his shoulder had removed Brian from being scanned. It was very interesting, and I hope something useful comes from the data and results.

What better way to spend a Saturday, we'd have a fabulous meal, then wandered into this wine bar to spend the whole afternoon drinking and laughing until early evening before heading back to Bev and Iains, where he opened another two bottles of wine (oh liver, I'm so sorry!)

Back to Alvechurch, with enough time to throw the stuff out of the car and go to Solihull where ‘Monday Club ‘ plus extras were meeting at Mark and Fiona’s to help them celebrate their 25th wedding anniversary. A lovely evening to round off a brilliant weekend.

Sunday evening with 'Monday Club' to celebrate Mark and Fiona's (seated at the front) silver wedding anniversary LtoR: Sue, Martin, Tim, Jill, Brian, Martina, Ruby dog, Jackie and Bill

Last week has been taken up with decorating, in order to move into mums room, so we can sort out all the stuff in our room, we need new carpets. There is no point in putting down new carpets, till the room has been painted, and so it goes on! So, carpet ordered, painting done, a new bathroom ordered (just because we want to use the shower safely- the bath needs to be changed, the walls need tiling, the carpet needs replacing, so we might as well do everything!) We’ve had lunch with Abi, met her plumber Tariq who is going to do the bathroom, had the man to measure for the carpets, seen the solicitor about mums will, done some gardening, been to the local Am Dram in the village hall and sorted out what we are going to take on Hadrians Wall.

The tenants moved out of Birmingham Road on Thursday, we got the keys on Friday, showed friends of friends round on Friday. They’ve been back again today with his father, who lives just down the road, and is the one with the vision, and will let us know by tomorrow if they are interested! Keep everything crossed!

Yesterday a three hour drive to Blandford Forum for a party to celebrate dad’s 80th birthday. A lovely occasion catching up with people we haven’t seen for years, and meeting a few we’ve heard so much about. A great day with much talk, and much wine. Slightly more wine than Brian should really have had. I haven’t seen him that bad for a very long time! So bad in fact that I had to do most of the drive home. Very unusual for us, and really quite horrible bearing in mind that on the way down Brian had mentioned the dream he had on Friday night, where I killed us both in the car! We are home safe and sound so all is good.

Down in Blandford Forum for Jackies dad's 80th birthday party. LtoR: Brian, Jackie, birthday boy Richard, Elizabeth, Jonathan and Lucy

Tomorrow, breathe, and Tuesday? Up to Si and Di in Harrogate before Hadrians Wall. It’s all go!

Charles and Caroline

Looking further down the table, on the other side is Heather, Toby, Jane and Dee

Then we went into the Drawing Room where Sarah and Martin (who's house it was and who put on this lovely party) sang and played a Gilbert and Sullivan number for us all. G&S has been a big part of the Kent family's and Sue and Martin's lives from way back when Jackies mum and dad were together in Tring, a long time before I was on the scene. I've missed out on G&S, but I'm catching up!

A snap of the Kent family (without Jackie). LtoR: birthday boy Richard, Jonathan, Caroline, Charles and Lucy

We were lucky with the weather, warm and sunny - it just made the wine go down very easily and, before we knew it....well, I didn't remember the 20 minute walk back to our Airbnb room (but the owners said they didn't hear us come in after midnight)

Jackie in her finery talking to Duncan (he's a lovely guy and really interesting to talk to as he's done such a lot)