The sad things, the celebrations and the laughter

The last part of our housesitting for Cookie and Cracker in Evesham. Settling down to watch a film together

We really did have a good time with Cookie and Cracker, they are very good therapy dogs, and it was just what we needed. It seems like a very long time ago now, but we walked and ate and relaxed.

We left on Tuesday, once we knew Donna and Keith had taken off, back for the last flurry of activity before the funeral on Thursday. It was important to me to try and get as much of Mum’s life into a very short speech as she had so many different stages in her life that virtually nobody knew all of them.

Outside the crematorium for Pauline's funeral dressed in anything purple, as was her wish. LtoR: Brian, Jackie, Caroline, Lucy, Jonathan and Charles

We were very lucky with the weather, blue sky and sunny, not that it mattered, but it does make everyone feel better, and made the drive for Jonathan and co, and Uncle Martyn and Annabel easier. Brian had worked very hard on the photos for the order of service (to see a scan of the order of service: click here), going through hundreds and visualising how they would look when cropped (if you'd like to look at them, all 346 of them, click here). Charles read Warning, a poem by Jenny Joseph, which pretty well summed mum up and added a perfect few words of his own. The music for reflection was Poor Wandering One from the Pirates of Penzance, recorded by Caroline on her flute, accompanied on the piano by her teacher (to listen to it click here). Gilbert and Sullivan had been such a huge part of life when I was growing up. In fact I was in my first production, the Gondoliers, when I was 5. A late breaking addition to the cast when the costumes arrived for the Duchess of Plaza Toro to find she was struggling with her train. I had the very important job of carrying her train from the back of the hall to the front, where it was removed and handed to me to take off the stage. I swapped it for a mint imperial from Jeff, the stage manager and went home to bed. Except for the last night when I was allowed to stay to take a bow, and even receive a flower posy that meant as much to me as the bouquets did to the principal ladies. I had written some words in the middle of one night, which had got it out of my system, but Jacqui, the celebrant read them out as part of her eulogy. The music we came in to was Daddy Longlegs, which I knew had been mums favourite song from the Captain Beaky album (to listen to it via Youtube: click here). What I hadn’t realised is that it had been recorded by Peter Skellern, one of mums absolute favourites, who we happened to bump into at the top of a cable car in New Zealand. She’d recognised him and seemed to make his day wanting to have a picture taken with him. We exited to Killer Queen, by Queen which had been selected by the family Kent as they’d driven home after coming up to look at the house and contents.

After the service we all went to the Red Lion who I have to say provided a very good service, nothing seemed to be too much trouble. It did us all a power of good to see so many people there, at one point Jonathan had envisaged a meal for 8, not the approaching 40 that there were. I’d taken the many items of beaded jewellery that she’d never sold, encouraging people to take a piece to remember her by and Brian had taken a laptop with as many photographs as we could find of her growing up, on trips and with as many people as possible. It did end up with the 8 of us, close family that Jonathan had expected, after everyone else had gone having given her a really good send off. We so appreciate everyone and everything that they have done and said.

Weekend in Bristol with Bev and Iain, starting with a drink before the Doreen Doreen concert. The girls are ready! Just as an aside, you can see most of the picture on the pub wall behind of Mona Lisa that's been doctored to show her holding a pint!

Was it all going to feel a bit flat after the funeral? No, we’ve barely had the chance to breathe. Friday we went down to Bristol to Bev and Iain, this had been planned since January, and they’d given us the option to cancel, but no chance, we were going! We arrived and went out to lunch, Caribbean at the local pub, which was a delight. A full meal then as we were going out later, to see a band, Doreen Doreen. They have a loyal following in the Bristol area, and Bev and Iain have seen them many times. Actually Iain saw them in January along with Helen, Ian, Phil and Sue, though sadly not Bev as she wasn’t well enough. We were delighted that she was well enough this time as we had a brilliant time. As a band they are almost indescribable. The lead singer is 70 and large, and if not singing, doing her knitting on the stage. The base player is also large, and black and wears little more than a pair of hot pants that leave nothing to the imagination. Of the other 4 lady singers three are probably my age with one being slightly younger. The songs and mash ups were brilliant, the atmosphere buzzing, and the attire of the audience wacky! Feeling it was too early to go home we then moved to the Irish bar, for drag night. Fortunately B&I are regulars as the very new, and slightly overzealous doorman wouldn’t let us in, as two middle aged married couples appeared to tick some box in his head as a stag or hen do. Admittedly we were wearing pink feather boas and ears but even so! We did eventually get in only for me to get videoed singing along at the bar, before being referred to by the drag queen as his nan! It was a good evening.

Doreen Doreen on stage. Zoom in on the bass player on the right (if you dare!), his shorts leave little to the imagination. The guitarists on the left are midway through an instrumental and the lead singer is taking a break, sitting down knitting. Fabulous music from the 1960's to modern

It shouldn’t have been that late an evening, Brian and Iain were meant to be spending Saturday on Steep Holm island in the Bristol Channel. Only open 12 times a year as high tide is necessary to access the island. This turned out to be the problem, it’s a very small island, interesting enough for a few hours, but for 12? With rain forecast? They had both separately decided that it might not be such a good idea and fortunately had actually opened their mouths and said something! Their decision not to go obviously impacted Bev and my chilling Saturday, but we let them off. Brian’s choice for the day was lunch and wine, so Seven Lucky Gods for delicious Japanese food, and a bottle of wine, before moving to the wine bar next door, for an impromptu tasting and another three bottles of wine. We just sat and talked and laughed, all the while sending pictures and messages to Ian and Helen eliciting sympathy from them about being stuck on a tiny island!

I had to get a photo of Bev on her mobility scooter. Here we are waiting for the bus into Bristol for our lazy day of eating, drinking (lots) and laughing

Sunday, the reason this weekend had been planned I was due at Biobanks study centre. Brian and I have been part of UK Biobank for about 15 years, providing data for studies into all sorts of things, we’ve had problem solving tests, activity monitors, eating studies sleep questionnaires and all sorts. This was to be 5 hours comprising 2 MRI scans, bone density scans and neck angiograms. Along with being weighed, measured, questioned and doing various computer tasks. Why only me? The plate in his shoulder had removed Brian from being scanned. It was very interesting, and I hope something useful comes from the data and results.

What better way to spend a Saturday, we'd have a fabulous meal, then wandered into this wine bar to spend the whole afternoon drinking and laughing until early evening before heading back to Bev and Iains, where he opened another two bottles of wine (oh liver, I'm so sorry!)

Back to Alvechurch, with enough time to throw the stuff out of the car and go to Solihull where ‘Monday Club ‘ plus extras were meeting at Mark and Fiona’s to help them celebrate their 25th wedding anniversary. A lovely evening to round off a brilliant weekend.

Sunday evening with 'Monday Club' to celebrate Mark and Fiona's (seated at the front) silver wedding anniversary LtoR: Sue, Martin, Tim, Jill, Brian, Martina, Ruby dog, Jackie and Bill

Last week has been taken up with decorating, in order to move into mums room, so we can sort out all the stuff in our room, we need new carpets. There is no point in putting down new carpets, till the room has been painted, and so it goes on! So, carpet ordered, painting done, a new bathroom ordered (just because we want to use the shower safely- the bath needs to be changed, the walls need tiling, the carpet needs replacing, so we might as well do everything!) We’ve had lunch with Abi, met her plumber Tariq who is going to do the bathroom, had the man to measure for the carpets, seen the solicitor about mums will, done some gardening, been to the local Am Dram in the village hall and sorted out what we are going to take on Hadrians Wall.

The tenants moved out of Birmingham Road on Thursday, we got the keys on Friday, showed friends of friends round on Friday. They’ve been back again today with his father, who lives just down the road, and is the one with the vision, and will let us know by tomorrow if they are interested! Keep everything crossed!

Yesterday a three hour drive to Blandford Forum for a party to celebrate dad’s 80th birthday. A lovely occasion catching up with people we haven’t seen for years, and meeting a few we’ve heard so much about. A great day with much talk, and much wine. Slightly more wine than Brian should really have had. I haven’t seen him that bad for a very long time! So bad in fact that I had to do most of the drive home. Very unusual for us, and really quite horrible bearing in mind that on the way down Brian had mentioned the dream he had on Friday night, where I killed us both in the car! We are home safe and sound so all is good.

Down in Blandford Forum for Jackies dad's 80th birthday party. LtoR: Brian, Jackie, birthday boy Richard, Elizabeth, Jonathan and Lucy

Tomorrow, breathe, and Tuesday? Up to Si and Di in Harrogate before Hadrians Wall. It’s all go!

Charles and Caroline

Looking further down the table, on the other side is Heather, Toby, Jane and Dee

Then we went into the Drawing Room where Sarah and Martin (who's house it was and who put on this lovely party) sang and played a Gilbert and Sullivan number for us all. G&S has been a big part of the Kent family's and Sue and Martin's lives from way back when Jackies mum and dad were together in Tring, a long time before I was on the scene. I've missed out on G&S, but I'm catching up!

A snap of the Kent family (without Jackie). LtoR: birthday boy Richard, Jonathan, Caroline, Charles and Lucy

We were lucky with the weather, warm and sunny - it just made the wine go down very easily and, before we knew it....well, I didn't remember the 20 minute walk back to our Airbnb room (but the owners said they didn't hear us come in after midnight)

Jackie in her finery talking to Duncan (he's a lovely guy and really interesting to talk to as he's done such a lot)

The blog post after...

Exploring the village of Rattery, our last stop in Devon in Big Ted, our motorhome, before we received the call about Jackie's mums death

Getting back to blogging is really quite difficult. We’ve been really busy, but there’s not much to write about attending the registrars office to get a death certificate, clearing and cleaning, trips to the tip, the charity shop, and the craft shop and knit and natter to get rid of more crafting equipment and wool than you’d think one person could have. That’s the physical stuff, then many many phone calls, meeting the celebrant, contacting banks, pension and the milkman amongst others. We are grateful that we were planning on being ‘around’ to deal with Birmingham Road, as this has given us the time that so many people don’t have to go through everything and dispose of things in a thoughtful manner. Dealing with Birmingham Road however hasn’t started yet, the tenants due to move out on the 26th March seemed surprised that it was difficult to find a new property! Fingers crossed nothing happens with the one they have finally found and that they will move out on May 2nd!

We visited our friends Rob and Alex and, while there Rob asked Jackie if she would cut his hair with their new cutters. He knows Jackie always cuts mine so he preferred Jackie do it rather than let Alex loose for the first time. Even so, he looks a bit nervous about it in this photo, think he was happy with the results! We liked their new cutters so much we've bought some the same as our old one's are 11 years old now and a bit long in the tooth

We are also extremely grateful for the support we have been shown by so many people. The Facebook messages after the last blog, phone calls, cards and in person have been amazing.

Brian's family get-together. We missed Christmas so this was the next best thing. My daughter, Fiona, is sitting to the right of Jackie and, to Jackies left are Jessica and my nephew Nick (who, incidentally, announced their engagement yesterday - we are thrilled as obviously Jessica was too)

We’ve been for a walk with John and Brian, who are doing the Black Country Pubs Ale Trail, they have to tick off 25 of the 47 pubs on the list. A trip to Stourbridge on the train gave us a 10 mile walk and 5 pub stamps in their little books. It was a grand day out even though the four trains required to get back to Alvechurch didn’t line up in the same way that had on the way out. The last two were covered by taxi, and we were still out for 13 hours!

View from the other end of the room. People had moved around a bit, but my sister, Denise is there behind the door with Paul, her husband on the far right

Monday Club couldn’t all be there on Monday, so became Tuesday Club for a week, a preplanned Sunday Tea Club met for a Chinese, we visited Manu and Crystals new house and met up for a curry with Reuben. Alex and Rob did an early pizza dinner for us before we moved on to see Bill and Martina. Jo and Mike have come over for lunch and Jonathan, Lucy Charles and Caroline came up for the day. Last, but not least have been visits to Brian’s side, firstly for Rory’s birthday, and secondly to Fiona and James for Easter Sunday lunch. We really are privileged to have so many wonderful people in our lives. We haven’t seen Abi yet, but that’s not for want of her trying, if you can come and advise on the garden we’d be really pleased xx

A Sunday Tea Club meet in Birmingham with Manu and Crystal and Ian and Helen

On Tuesday we started a Housesit near Evesham, again, prebooked, so we know the lovely Cookie and Cracker and got an uproarious welcome as we let ourselves in, after Donna and Keith had left, and after Brian had been to the QE for routine blood tests. We took the dogs straight out for a walk and both of us relaxed, not surprising really, but we hadn’t felt pressured, though I haven’t been sleeping well. Yesterday we took the dogs out for a good long walk, looking for blossom that this area is famed for at this time of year. We found more mud than blossom, but the dogs didn’t mind, and the little blossom we did find reminded Brian that he was allergic to tree blossom! A lovely walk, followed by a bath for dogs, who then go completely crazy zooming around the garden to dry off. Very funny! This was followed by an evening out at Ounce, the steak pub in the village where we ate with D&K last time we were here. Having just got back from the US where steak is fabulous we didn’t expect to have steak for a long time. The Chateau Briand, both last time, and this was a delight. They treated us last time, and they treated us this, with a very generous voucher. We do appreciate it, but it’s really not necessary.

Outside Jackies mums house with her brother Jonathan with Lucy and Charles and Caroline to discuss and start sorting their mums (and grans) house and estate

Not sure when we will next get chance to breathe, the Housesit finishes on Tuesday, the funeral is on Thursday, we go to Bev and Iain for the weekend on Friday, have most of a week before starting Hadrians Wall for 8 days. By which time hopefully the tenants will have moved out of Birmingham Road so we can get that on the market, and we’ll have had all the financial information we require so we can start applying for probate!

Our day out in Stourbridge for a walk and pub crawl. That's John looking on while Brian negotiates the ticket machine. Better hurry up, the trains there!

Waiting at Droitwich Station for the third of our four trains to Stourbridge and it felt like a step back in time. It still uses the old mechanical signals and lever operated points from the signal box way down the tracks there (you might have to zoom in to see it)

And this was our fourth train that took us the last mile from Stourbridge Junction to Stourbridge Town. Its called the Parry People Mover, known to British Rail as the Class 139. It uses a giant horizontal flywheel in the base of the vehicle that is spun up to speed by a gas powered 2.3 litre engine and is topped up by energy used when braking to make it a novel and economic vehicle . Parry People Movers is a British company founded by John Perry, who died this year on 17th February 2023

The train driver was a very nice man, letting me go into the cab to film the journey and have a look. I didn't put the video on as, actually, it's just a train journey! However is was a fun 5 minutes, which is all the journey took

Stourbridge Town station, it's like stepping back in time

Between the last photo and this one were visits to five Black Country pubs all serving excellent local hand pulled ales (and their trademark cheese cobs - their only food offering, except occasionally a pork pie or pasty), proper British pubs! We had a pint in each and, as you can see, we're still standing - just!

Waiting for our Parry People Mover back

Rushing for the next train at Stourbridge Junction despite what the sign says. From there the linking trains were too far apart so we got a taxi home instead, getting home early evening. I tracked our days route and mapped it on Relive, adding a few photos. You can watch it here 

Now we're back with these two lovelies, Cookie and Cracker near Evesham for a week of relaxation

Cracker does like to occupy a lap at every opportunity

And Cookie? Well he just likes to look scruffy and cute. They are both fabulous to look after, never complaining, always ready to do whatever we want, but also quite happy to sleep

They were very happy yesterday when we took them out for a 5 mile walk in the Vale of Evesham to look at the Spring blossom 

Two very happy, but very muddly doglets

Brave as well going over this narrow bridge with gushing water

They were, to say the least, very muddy, needing a complete bath in the outside sink with fresh water for each one. Here's Cracker being toweled down. I tracked this route, too, and made a Relive video of it with photos. You can see it here

The saddest, shortest blog

Us with Jackies mum on our Norwegian cruise five weeks ago in February

The saddest, shortest blog.

We last posted on Monday 20th, and moved to Dartmoor on Tuesday.

Tuesday evening we rang mum, to do the Daily Telegraph cryptic crossword with her over the phone, as had become the norm on this trip. We knocked it off in about an hour, mum giving some answers before Brian had even finished reading them out. We said our goodnights and signed off.

Wednesday morning we didn’t get our usual “Morning” WhatsApp and no response to phone calls. The neighbours were kind enough to come in, only to find her peacefully curled up in her bed, having passed away.

The last 10 days have been a bit of a blur. We can’t deny it was a shock, but the post mortem has confirmed she would have known nothing, so it really was the way everyone wants to go, and that even if we had been here we could have done nothing.

We are immensely pleased that we went away on the Norwegian cruise over her birthday, and all enjoyed it so much. It was a year since she did Velocity 2, the world’s fastest zip wire, so Brian had sent her pictures which elicited the response “it’s time I had another challenge that everyone thinks I’m too old to achieve “ so she was on good form and went out on a high.

We are very grateful for the support we have had from all our friends, and have been touched by the kind words from her friends.

Here's the Daily Telegraph cyptic crossword from Tuesday 21st March 2023 and the set of clues that were the last thing Pauline concentrated on. We do the crossword online so didn't have the paper version, Helen S. got us this one and sent it to us, thank you Helen.

And here's a screenshot from my phone of the completed crossword after we'd finished it. We're trying to remember the one's Pauline got. She definitely got 1 across, Allowed. 10 across, Ornaments, she got almost before I'd finished reading the clue out. Jackie hadn't heard her and was still trying to work it out, so I said, 'no, you're mothers already answered, I've put the answer in', 'oh, yes' she said 'of course'. She also got Drone, Severe, Kangaroo, Sought and quite a few others. She was 'on the ball'

The remainder of this blog is going to be a bit of a reminisce in photos:

Here she is with Charles, her grandson, who's now 20 years old

Jackie and I ran a ballroom dancing school in Alvechurch about 15 years ago and here she is dancing with Ian B. an old member of our mountaineering club who wanted to learn how to waltz and foxtrot

Before we gave up work in 2012 we used to go on a ski trip each year with the mountaineering club (often organised by us) and Pauline used to like to come along, not necessarily to ski, but because she liked the winter sun and crisp alpine scenes. Here she is in a group photo. We're in it, just right of centre and Pauline is there too just left of centre

She would always bring a jigsaw along to do in the chalet and, whilst most 'hardy mountaineers' wouldn't stoop so low as to do a jigsaw, as the week went on we'd see them joining in to add some pieces

One year, on her 60th birthday, she decided she was going to learn to ski and here she is second from the left in her ski gear. It has to be said that she didn't much like it, mainly as the ski instructor was so condescending, so she never skied again (but she still came out with us every year)

Since we gave up work in 2012 and started travelling the world, she has joined us for part  of our trips all over the world. Here in 2013 she joined us for part of our tour travelling up the east coast of Australia, here she is in Sydney, by the opera house

And she wrote entries on this blog. Here she is somewhere in the world typing away on her entry

Sitting outside our little campervan that we hired in New Zealand and another one in Australia

Out whale and dolphin spotting in south island New Zealand in 2012

In front of Fox Glacier in New Zealand in 2012, her first sight of a real glacier up close

She was always game for a laugh too. When I told her to assume the pose of the person on the sign, she did!

Kayaking in Karamea, South Island New Zealand in 2012

It didn't all go to plan, here's Jackie rescuing her after she capsized

In Arches National Park, Utah, USA in 2014

Sitting round a campfire in the USA in 2014

We'd bought a packet of crisps at low altitude in the USA, then driven up to a high pass for lunch. Due to the much lower air pressure the crisp packet had expanded almost to bursting point

Hiking along a valley and through a cave to arrive behind a waterfall

We took her to and saw some amazing sights all over the world

Red Rocks, Utah, USA 2014

If I told her to do it, she'd do it!

She even joined us on a housesit in Colorado USA in 2014. We're enjoying Margaritas at our 'ranch sit' while Pauline strokes one of the dogs in our care 

She didn't like having her photo taken, so its surprising I've got so many photos of her over the years. Sometimes she needed to be persuaded to be in a photo!

She was delighted to meet Peter Skellern at some random place in New Zealand in 2012 - and we think he was quite pleased to be recognised. He was one of her favourite artists

Carefree and happy in South Africa in 2020. A penguin as just waddled past her

A close encounter with a penguin

She met my long lost cousin, Martin and his wife Michele in Stellenbosch, South Africa in 2020

She's been to southern most tip of Africa  

Got up before dawn to see meercats wake up and pop their heads out of their burrows in the wilds of South Africa

Helped a wild tortoise get safely to the side of a road in South Africa

Fed camels

She's been on many African safaris and seen most animals

Her favourite was having morning coffee with giraffes. I promise you, this is a genuine photo

A close second was breakfast in the bush. A full breakfast cooked in front of us in the wilds, miles from anywhere surrounded by men with guns in case any lions or cheetahs decided they'd like to join in

We took her on a very long hike to a waterfall in Wilderness, South Africa in 2020, including this river crossing. Everyone in the hotel where we were staying were amazed she'd walked so far in the wilds on uneven tracks, which made her feel great!

Did we mention we'd taken her rock climbing?

A close encounter

This was back in 2007 when Pauline and I had a trip together in Australia. I'd gone over for a business meeting and Pauline had arranged a solo trip through Australia on her own (she used to go all over the world on her own). At the end of her trip and after my business meeting, we met up in Melbourne, hired a car and drove along the Great Ocean Road

And then, just last year she went on the worlds fastest zip line while we were on a weeks holiday in North Wales and, in doing so, she proved age is no barrier!

She did it without any sign of nerves

 

Here she's just been released at the end and Jackie and a member of staff help her find her feet again

Those photos came up on my photo memories recently and I sent her copies via WhatsApp, as I generally did to remind her of things we'd done together. This is a screenshot of a conversation we had on 17th March, just over a week before she died. She wanted to do something else no-one thought she could do. I'd suggested a parachute jump, which she didn't rule out. It would have been fabulous if we could have arranged it

She did love time with Charles and Caroline, her grandchildren. Here she is when they were quite young  

And here we are on a canal narrowboat we hired one day

I told her to do it, she did it!

These things have to be done!

Just five weeks ago we took on her last holiday, a cruise to the Norwegian Fjords

It was plain to see she absolutely loved it. What a fabulous last holiday!

We dressed up each night in our best bib and tucker

Watched a show in the cabaret bar each night

We danced, attended lectures, cookery displays, craft workshops

She bought a new warm hat, which is now going to take pride of place in the house

We did some shore excursions, sometimes in the snow

On a walk through Stavanger with our ship in the background

And this was the last photo of took of her just before we left on our last trip to SW England in our motorhome at the end of February. Feeding the wild birds in her garden with Geraldine, her giraffe. RIP Pauline, we'll miss you